 Cynar
Some things are made to go together (like hot dogs and mustard); others are oddball mixes that shouldn't work but do (like Morgan Freeman and Ashley Judd). Then there are things that should never be brought together. How about artichokes and alcohol?! Cynar is a rancid Italian liqueur distilled, you heard that right, from artichokes. I bought it one day when my local liquor emporium was out of the enigmatic Pimm's, and since Cynar was merchandised directly next to Pimm's, and looked reasonably similar, I thought it might be a tolerable substitute. Looking back, I suppose I did notice the artichoke illustration on the label, but how could I ever have guessed that would actually be an ingredient?! Woof! Upon tasting it when I got home, I nearly barfed, and couldn't place just what disgusting thing Cynar reminded me of. The closest thing I could come up with was this pine-infused pet-dandruff shampoo we had around the house when I was a kid. Not that I ever tasted that … well, aside from the one time Mom "washed my mouth out" with it for cursing … ironically, it was she who had cursed. Now Cynar is my curse. There it sits on the counter amid the other bottles of more well-selected liquor, standing out as unpleasantly as Geri Jewell in a strip club, and it will be there forever, as I can't bring myself to drink it, nor to throw it away. The curious thing is, I love artichokes, and always enjoy a gentlemanly drink or two, but I never imagined these things might be brought together in unholy union. Cynar is disgusting. I find myself even more suspicious of potato vodka than before. The human capacity to make alcohol drinks from literally anything is limitless, stretching far beyond the bounds of good judgment. I'd honestly rather have a garbanzo-bean martini.
Review by Mr. Wiggle-It |
