Hawaiian Punch

Hawaiian Punch used to give me a biting aftertaste, but having just drunk some recently, I did not suffer any ill effects. Perhaps my palate has matured over the years, because as far as fruit punch goes, Hawaiian Punch is the top of the pops. I'll qualify that statement by saying that I did not try any other fruit punches prior to this review.

The packaging boldly proclaims that the drink is made with 7 NATURAL FRUIT JUICES, and above the nutrition facts is states in even larger font that it contains 5% FRUIT JUICE. That means that each juice makes up about .7% of the whole. But I don't care about any of that. If I want mango juice, I'll drink mango juice. I don't think many people go for a Hawaiian Punch because they want fruit juice. They want it because it tastes good and fruity. Oh, the specific fruit juices contained in Hawaiian Punch are pineapple, apple, pear, passionfruit, orange, papaya, and guava.

I suppose at some point I have to mention Punchy, the weird surfer mascot with red antlers. Well, there he is, surfing on a pineapple or something. This character doesn't look like anyone I've seen in Hawaii, let alone the rest of the world, so I'm not sure what makes him Hawaiian, besides the Hawaiian shirt he's wearing. If that's all they can come up with, I'd much rather have a picture of Alan Alda on the front.

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Review by Professor Hydro