Jack Daniel's Old No. 7 Tennessee Whiskey

Most of my truly bad pukin' drunk stories involve Jack Daniels somewhere along the way. If you're lookin' to get where you're lookin' to get, Jack'll take you there. However, if you're looking for any semblance of a sophisticated drink, Jack'll ruin the party every time.

In my less cultured days, my particular poison (and that's the right word for it) was frequently Jack & Coke—rough 'n' tumble company for many a stinky rock band rehearsal space and/or club excursion. Whenever I have one now, I almost gag reflexively simply from … er … I guess nostalgia, or something.

But nowadays if I want something with a direct line to alcohol stupification, I'll lean more toward a Crown & Coke instead. Smoother, sweeter, less gasoline-y. And conversely, when I want something gasoline-y, I'll reach for a BP 98 Octane Unleaded & Coke.

All that said, the allure of Jack remains. What drink can make you more instantly feel like a member of ZZ Top? Then again, occasions when such a feeling is desirable are becoming fewer and further between now that I'm in my late teens.

Loud Bassoon rating scale

Review by Arfie