Starbucks Caramel Macchiato

This is the first coffee I've had since 1994, when I took a vow of decaffeination at the urging of the archbishop. Since leaving the church six months ago, I have indulged in the unsubtle pleasures of caffeinated beverages on numerous occasions, but had been focusing my attention on cola drinks.

I used to enjoy coffee tremendously, and nearly always drank simple straight coffee. My secular friend Dr. Martin Absinthe recommended the Caramel Macchiato to me when I mentioned that I was thinking about getting a coffee one of these days.

So today, I finally got one, and it was delicious. Smooth and silky, the drink consists of steamed milk and espresso topped with whipped cream and caramel – really it's more like drinking a hot milkshake. Quite a departure from the straight-up black coffees of my youth.

The caffeine content is defined but not overstimulating. I see now why all you sissies are so into these carefully-crafted lifestyle blends. This is just a delicious drink from start to finish. I was also impressed at how comfortable a place Starbucks is. It's become so ubiquitous that even the Starbucks backlash is itself a cliché. But really, they do what they do exceedingly well. Flavorful, aromatic coffee in attractive surroundings with shallow people milling about listening to well-selected music.

I hate to inform you, but Starbucks is quite a good deal hipper than most hipster coffeehouses I've been to. The lack of sneering is refreshing, and I can almost say I want to start frequenting the place. That would be just like me – keep in mind, I didn't start watching "Cheers" until it was well into syndication.

Review by God's Messenger