Tommyknocker 1859 Original Root Beer

The "Brewed with Pure Vermont MAPLE SYRUP" label at the top of the bottle should've given the plot away, but my sheer enthusiasm of trying new root beers didn't point this out to me until a few swigs in. Tommyknocker is easily the most maple-y root beer around (save for the very rare "Mr. Maple's Maple Leaf Root Beer Rag", which as far as I know, exists in this particular sentence only).

I'm guessing there's a root beer-swilling subculture that live and die by root beers such as these, but personally, I think they're on the disgusting side, and refreshing nonewhatsoever. If you're one of the syrup-loving saps, or perhaps a bear, this might get a Shiny Dr. Teeth Tooth in your review world, or a Sonny Liston head, or 15 blue orchids, or whatever your upper-echelon rating is, but in the meantime, you can have the rest of my bottle.

No, take that back, slowpoke, I'm already pouring it down the sink. Maybe you'd be a bit faster if you weren't always drinking syrup, jerkoff.

Loud Bassoon rating scale

Review by AAA