 Monsturd (2003) "South Park meets The X-Files meets The Toxic Avenger!" Here's how it actually comes off, though: "Your stoner friend rambling on about South Park meets bad X-Files fan fiction meets discarded dailies from Toxic Avenger Part 4!" It seems pointless to fault a movie made for $3000 for being bad, especially since those involved with its production probably justify it in their minds as being in the spirit of Ed Wood. But the fact that Monsturd exists at all is about the only good thing I can say about it. Kudos to the filmmakers for making a movie, in other words. Maybe next time they'll make a watchable one. Monsturd is not unwatchable in any of the ways they wanted it to be … the gross-out humor isn't gross enough, the visuals not outrageous enough, the dialogue not profane enough. It's unwatchable in the "guy who thinks he's funny buys a digital video camera" sort of way. You'd think that a movie about a mutant shit-monster would not be able to miss, but Monsturd bogs down with a palpably amateur, first-draft script, stilted performances, and easy outs. The jokes mainly consist of people shouting "Holy shit!" Get it? 'Cause the monster is made of shit. Ha, ha. This is a movie that needed to be fucking hilarious, pee-your-pants, snot-Whoppers®out-your-nose hilarious, but it plays like a bunch of community college film students making one of the late-era "funny" X-Files episodes. A few bits show some spark – a moderately funny vomit scene, and an intentionally belabored bit with a hippie puppet – but very long stretches of the film actually try to be a movie. On $3000, just get to the shit-slinging, you know? Don't try to give me plot. I'd give this the blows shit rating, but that would only encourage these folks to make another movie, or, heaven forfend, a sequel.
Review by Boolean Gardner |