 Revenge of the Ninja (1983) If The Apple is Cannon's Wizard of Oz and Masters of the Universe its Star Wars, Revenge of the Ninja is its … its … no, Revenge of the Ninja is in a class of its own. Sho Kozugi is the ninja in question, breaking his vow not to use his powers to kill people when his business partner is revealed to be a nefarious drug trafficker and, also, a bloodthirsty ninja. The evil ninja seems intent on killing everyone he knows, regardless of their connection to his dirty dealings, so Kosugi must take him down and save the day. Fortunately, he has a 9-year-old son (Kane Kosugi, Sho's real son) who can lend a hand (at one point he beats a grown woman … it was hard to tell who to root for), as well as a 60-something mother who appears helpless until, in one key scene, she turns out to be a ninja as well. Sure, her backflips are obviously those of a stunt double. Would you ask Betty White to do her own backflips? Hm … me too. Every scene is more misguided than the last, with such obviously staged fighting that you have absolutely zero impression of actual danger transpiring. It comes off like a long-form video of people pretending to be ninjas. But knowing little or nothing about ninjas except whatever comes into their minds when they think "ninja." The movie looks like it was made for a dollar, is badly acted, terribly scripted, and directed with complete incompetence. I loved it. I only wish it was even worse.
Review by Gardyloo Gully |