Urine: Good Health (1999)
Directed by Eli Kabillio

A documentary on the practice of drinking human urine naturally will spark some interest. After all, it's not that different from drinking lemonade or apple juice. In fact, lemonade and apple juice turn into urine when it's all said and done.

I think everyone has had a primal desire to drink their own liquid waste, so it was with that in mind that I watched the tape. I had many expectations, but for the most part I came away disappointed. It's not too difficult to make a documentary on something so interesting, but somehow Eli Kabillio managed to screw it up. There appears to be some sort of point/counterpoint going on through the whole thing, yet it's hard to discern because no one really makes any valid points. Just about everyone interviewed makes all sorts of bold statements about the benefits of drinking urine but none come up with any facts to back it up.

There is one segment with a high-school-biology-looking animation, but that's about as scientific as it gets. One of the most outspoken supporters of urine therapy is a plumber. And most people interviewed don't speak English very well, even the American ones. There is, though, a New York Fireman who looks remarkably like J.K. Simmons.

Enjoyably, the man who seems most opposed to drinking urine sounds exactly like the male lead in a pornographic 8-track I had listened to less than an hour before; he was an Irishman who had appreciable skill in the ways of the woman. It was called "Sex Love Story." So it made the documentary fun to imagine that the Irish nephrologist being interviewed had some 25 years ago taken part in an 8-track recording intended for onanistic purposes.

The documentary scarcely even depicts people consuming urine, except for the "money shot" at the end when a man who looks like Gregory Harrison puts back a tall one. Urine: Good Health, despite the punny title and intriguing subject matter, is 55 minutes of boredom, and hardly good enough for a laugh.

I wonder if the people featured in this film would be opposed to me urinating on the tape itself. Eh, I'll stick to adult 8-tracks.

Review by Illusion Master