The gaping plot holes are in some cases distracted from by horrendous visual clichés, making it difficult to decide whether to be more annoyed by the writing or the direction. My vote probably leans toward the writing, which gives us yet another set-up in which a "successful young advertising executive" (Josh Hartnett) is about to get married, when he suddenly thinks he spots the girl (Diane Kruger) who left him behind back in his "hipster" days, and so he becomes obsessed with finding her again. Jimmy Stewart has more charisma as a long-decomposed corpse than Josh Hartnett can manage to muster even when he's trying hard, which he never seems to be here. It's hard to recall a lead actor sleepwalking through a movie more consistently – he's got a permanent deer-in-the-headlights look on his face, as though he either is deathly afraid of forgetting his lines, or he can barely contain his loathing at being involved with such a piece of shit. (I'm not sure whether the piece of shit I'm referring to is Wicker Park in general, or specifically to costar Rose Byrne, who somehow actually made me wish Robin Tunney were in the movie instead … ew.) To endure Hartnett's miserable lack of chops, I had to imagine he was Ashton Kutcher … how sad is that? The Chicago settings seem to have been chosen for crowd-pleasing effect, but actually work against the film in that they inadvertently create gaps in logic that are hard to reconcile. Hartnett darts from downtown to O'Hare airport to buy a ticket for an upcoming trip? Does anyone buy tickets at the airport anymore? The airport is hardly on the way to anything. In another scene, Kruger, escaping her abusive boyfriend (or something like that), takes a room at the Drake hotel … perfect place to hide, Chicago's most well-known and touristy hotel. Movies really need to stop feeling compelled to show shit like the Drake hotel and Wrigley Field every time they set a movie in Chicago. Most of us actively avoid these types of places. Real life ain't a fucking Zagat Guide, assholes. The film maintains a certain level of suspense and intrigue despite the glaring flaws, but as with many "twist"-based movies, it completely topples over once the big reveal happens. At this point in time, "twists" pretty much need to be wholly convoluted if they're not to retread something that's already been done, and that's what happens here. Plus bad acting. Contrary to how it usually works, the DVD's "gag reel" is somehow MORE irritating than the actual movie. Most of the footage entails Rose Byrne either getting noticeably drunk on-set, or pretending to, and/or Matthew Lillard trying to ad-lib. In both cases, Josh Hartnett doesn't seem to grasp what's going on. Gag reels are funny (if indeed they are funny) because the people in them are laughing. It doesn't really work when one of the two people on-screen just stares blankly at the other when a "blooper" occurns. Or maybe that actually makes it MORE funny … nah, I won't give Josh Hartnett that kind of credit; he's obviously a fuckin' moron.
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