cozy corner

Cozy Corner
2622 N. Clark St, Chicago, IL, USA

After two years without a real diner breakfast (I was away at a conversion therapy camp to cure me of both rampant homosexuality and rampant breakfastosis), it was a real fuckin' treat to drop into Cozy Corner one morning to get the royal treatment.

Well, "royal treatment" in the same way you'd serve breakfast to Meghan Markle if you A) didn't know who she was, and B) didn't have eyes.

Oh, don't worry, Diana, we haven't forgotten about you! How could we? You died horrifically! That's why they call you Princess Die, silly!

cozy corner

Cozy Corner used to be a local greasy spoon, but was converted into a CC location at some point, the difference mainly being that it's now a little cleaner and more expensive.

I had your basic B-fast combo (two eggs over easy, sausage, white toast with butter and jelly, hash browns) and black coffee, about $20 total with tip. A little on the high side, though the quality of the food here is pretty good. The toast is kinda Texas-sized, and the sausages border on banger-sized. The server was friendly and attentive, not overly or underly so.

Incidentally, they don't call it a "B-fast combo," that's just my new-fashioned slang, like how I say "B-hole," "B-room," or "B-slap that B-scout, B-Bonds!"

cozy corner

As to just how cozy Cozy Corner is … about halfway through my B-fast, a Nigerian guy suddenly popped up in the booth directly behind mine (he'd apparently been sleeping there) and began talking to me with great intensity. Now, he may have been crazy, or I didn't fully understand him, or both, but the general theme was how he and I were the same, what is white or black, that kind of thing. Then he said he was going to run for President, and I told him I'd vote for him. And I would!

Review by Pumboo Dongo-Dohnoh, September 2019