Long John Silver's
260 Rand Road, Arlington Heights, IL, USA

Long John Silver's occupies a nebulous space in the fast food continuum. Everyone knows what Long John Silver's is and generally don't harbor any ill will towards it, but somehow it is regarded as a third-tier chain. I don't think many people could tell you where the closest LJS is to where they live, and that's a shame.

Until a few weeks ago, I had only a vague idea of where the restaurant was, but I also thought that many LJS locations existed that have either long since closed, or never existed in the first place. I took a leap of faith in going to one for dinner one day, and it was certainly a bell-ringing experience.

When I entered, I heard the gentle swells of the seven seas wafting across the port bow, putting me at ease and welcoming me most kindly. I soon learned that that was the sound of seven deep fat fryers nearly bubbling over with the scalding oil that would soon course through my intestines.

The area I was standing in did not appear to be originally designed to form a line of people, but it did its job despite being an apparent fire hazard. Straight ahead was a wall of wood and chrome, behind which was all the cooking equipment. Upon this wall was taped a sign that read "Do not touch metal—HOT! Thanks – Management." I being an Arby's veteran, this kind of introduction gave me a good idea of what I was in for.

The Long John Silver's menu is a curious thing because it features all kinds of combinations of only four core items – chicken, fish filets, battered shrimp, and breaded shrimp. All of them taste the same because they are so heavily fried that the fried is all you taste. The accessories aren't exotic, but any menu that has fries, corn, and hush puppies suits me just fine. I don't know if hush puppies are an LJS exclusive or if they exist outside of this realm, but if there is one thing that this franchise should build around to take itself to the next level, it is the hush puppy. The name alone perks up your ears, and the taste and consistency drive the point home. The food itself is delicious, because all fried food is delicious, with the exception of fried jalapeños.

The ambience of LJS is what truly makes every visit a memorable experience. I was surprised that the pirate theme was not at all overdone, the only sign of it being a skull and silverware symbol on their free children's cardboard pirate hats. The tables are all decorated like a kid's birthday party is going to start as soon as you leave. The music the restaurant plays seems to have a maritime theme but I didn't listen closely enough to be sure. But the best part is the bell.

Right in front of the exit door hangs a bell on the wall. A sign next to it reads , "If we did well, ring the bell!" I will never forget walking into LJS to witness a well-groomed, well-dressed businessman finish his meal, walk towards the exit, and ring the bell with a satisfied smile on his face. That wasn't what made the moment great, though. What etched the moment into my memory was, the man was wearing a pirate hat when he did it.

You can rest assured that I rang that bell before I walked down that gangplank, and I was sincerely thanked by the captured slave behind the counter.

Loud Bassoon rating scale

Review by Albert Stephanides, April 2003