new york bagel & bialy

New York Bagel & Bialy
4714 W Touhy Ave, Lincolnwood, IL, USA

Strangely, when I go to New York, I never get the hankering for a New York bagel, yet when I'm in Chicago, I frequently need to get one from New York Bagel & Bialy. I'm not sure it's because the bagels there are necessarily better; I think it's probably because whenever I'm in New York, I'm always on a blazing cocaine bender, and bagels are the last thing on your mind when you can't find the last baggie and your model friend is threatening to commit suicide in the bathroom.

Strangely, I never want cocaine when I'm in Bogotá, yet I crave their Chicago-style pizza. Go figure! 🤷🏼

new york bagel & bialy

Situated in a crap strip mall in Lincolnwood, New York Bagel & Bialy is so blah looking from the outside that it's easy to pass right by, much the same way you stop "seeing" panhandlers after awhile when they've been wearing the same clothes for several months. I mean, jeez guys, mix it up a little bit, am I right? It's called "dressing for success."

It's open 24 hours, and it's seemingly always busy, although admittedly I haven't visited at 3:30AM like I've been wanting to, just to see what it's like at that hour. They have every kind of bagel, bialy, deli sandwich, and Jewish pastry you could ever want, and while the staff can be a little grumpy, that's not the worst holocaust in human history.

new york bagel & bialy onion bagel

I usually just get an onion bagel, toasted, with cream cheese and tomato. I'm fascinated with the Mish-Mosh—but as with the escort service I found that supplies extremely tall women, I haven't worked up the nerve to try it yet. Some things deserve to be saved for when the time is right, like, when "sex stilts" become much easier to procure.

Review by Timothy Hay, October 2018