Señor Frog's
Playa del Carmen, Quintana Roo, Mexico

Playa del Carmen (and Mexico in general, at least the port towns) has no shortage of cheesy-ass tourist dives, and this is one of them. Located directly next to the pier where you board ferries to Cozumel, Señor Frog's is virtually no different from T.G.I. Friday's (which is also nearby, if you're a SUPER lame-ass), serving up lame-ass margaritas, lame-ass guacamole, etc, etc. I only went in because I wanted a margarita and was too lazy to walk any further.

Though the cruise-ship-trash love places like this (splashy and pandering, like a $5 t-shirt), there is nothing notable or recommendable about Señor Frog's except that you can dine and drink literally right over the incredible blue water and look out upon the white sands of Playa del Carmen. As a place to kill a few minutes before boarding a ferry, it's functional, but you'd have to be the most fearful fucking American to think it was any good.

They serve the margaritas Vegas-style, in two-foot-tall, bong-like plastic cups (stupidly called "The Yard"), but the drinks aren't all that strong (nor tasty), and the food is totally unremarkable. The only thing that perked up my visit was a situation in which three high-school-age American girls were boisterously swimming below us in white t-shirts, whooping it up in obvious need for attention, coming off like a cross between the girls from Thirteen and any random chicks from "Girls Gone Wild." This seemed to excite our waiter, but frankly, if I wanted some hot teen ass, I'd have stayed back in the hotel with my abductee.

Review by Elroy Washi, October 2004