Nestle® Crunch® Dark with Caramel

These limited-edition candy bars are starting to prolferate faster than moustaches at Kevin Kline FanCon 2007 (which I'm VERY excited about, if you couldn't tell!). This one bent my head a bit more than usual, because instead of just replacing one element (e.g. Snickers® Unshelled Peanuts Limited Edition), they've replaced two, swapping dark chocolate for milk chocolate and adding a layer of caramel where once there was none. The resulting concoction pushes the Nestle® Crunch® aspect far into the background, instead coming off more like a Ghiradelli dark chocolate-and-caramel square having a brief tryst with Rice Krispies, producing a black baby that is, confusingly, as fat as a Krackel in spite of its parents' svelte shapes.

Now, that black baby makes one delicious treat, don't get me wrong. However, even Nestle® would have to admit this really is an entirely new candy bar, not a slight tweak on the classic Crunch® bar. There's only one original ingredient! It would be like Henry Winkler starring in a "Monty" reunion special and getting Matthew and Gunnar Nelson to play his sons instead of David Schwimmer and David Krumholtz!!!! Now sure, I'd watch that special numerous times with real glee, but there's just no denying it's not the same. If anything, they're selling themselves short putting something this good out with such little real distinction … this could be the Asia of candy bars but they're selling it to us as Emerson, Lake and Powell!

Oh damn … can someone text me directions back to civilization? According to my GPS I'm somewhere deep inside my own ass.

Review by Murrough Beers