Snickers Limited Edition Dark

If Snickers® really wanted to go for it, they'd have made the size of Snickers® Dark grotesquely large and unwieldy, leaving no doubt in anyone's mind that this new variant was the feared Black Man's Penis™ version of Snickers, and reinforcing the notion with an ad campaign showing white men shamefully looking on as white women devoured these tasty treats, leaving dark chocolate and nougat all over their faces and blouses, pushed to fits of absolute ecstasy. The tagline would be "Snickers Dark Really, Really Satisfies!!!"

Unfortunately Michael Richards killed that possibility for everyone (because, of course, before his little stand-up debacle, major ad campaigns routinely traded on pre-Emancipation miscegenation clichés). In any event, Snickers Dark is damn good – if Snickers is like going to work at a good job, Snickers Dark is like going to a good job in the booga-booga heart of the African jungle. It's exotic and a little intense; perhaps slightly too intense for me. My wife seemed to like it a good deal more, and remarked only that she wished it had been 14" long.

Review by Major Roper