 Tootsie Roll
Not much has changed about Tootsie Roll in the past hundred years except for some variants in size and flavor. It's billed as "A low fat candy since 1896," and I've run across several articles in newspapers from the late 19th century that support that claim. I doubt I am the only person who was surprised to learn that people were arguably more obsessed with low-fat diets in the 1890s than in the 1990s. "Dr. BcCarthry's Salmon Oat Wash – Low in Fat and High in Vim" blares one newspaper ad. "Who has the lowest fat confections? It's Dr. Tootsie's Delicious Chocolate Rollers" reads another, clearly referring to the favorite now known as the Tootsie Roll. Exercise back then was a national mania, too, except instead of working out on strength machines and cardiovascular equipment, people would do a lot of lumberjacking, panning for gold, and parasol twirling. The thick roll of chewy brown chocolate may remind you of a big dump of shit, but the taste is far more satisfying and overall, I'd have to recommend Tootsie Roll in favor of shit anytime. Sugary sweet and filling, Tootsie Roll is a delicious treat you and your great-grandparents can agree on, although you'll still have to "agree to disagree" on the subject of "the immigrants." Review by La Ballerina |
