Rold Gold® Pretzels – Classic Style Thins

Jason Alexander's embarrassing obsession with them notwithstanding, Rold Gold® thin pretzels are inarguably a solid standby that never really fails. The main question is: how often are you really in the mood for pretzels? Usually you will eat them if they happen to be at a party or a work function, but as far as going out and buying pretzels, do you really bother? Don't fool yourself with illusory beliefs that this is "health food." Pretzels seem geared for people trying to wean themselves off of Fritos® or what have you. Really, they provide no nutritional value except for being a low fat, lower calorie alternative to fatty ass chips like Doritos® or FattyAss™ White Cheddar Fat Popcorn For You, Ya Big Uncontrollable Fattie Ass®. People would be better off eating something more along the lines of those veggie peppercorn deli slices I like.

Points deducted for using corn syrup, and just for being so pointlessly carbohydrate heavy. But turning off all dietary consideration, let it be acknowledged that, empty as they are, on pure taste alone, these are pretty goddamn good little pretzel babies.

Review by Lipstick Les