an apple dan the apple man review

SweeTango Apple

Of course, I have had a lot of apples in my time. But one thing you learn from having a lot of apples is just how different apples can be. Some are good, some are not so good. SweeTangos might have a fancy brand name, but taste-wise, they are certainly way up there. Whether or not they hatched these guys in a lab or what, I have no idea, but they really nailed pretty much every part of the execution. Crispy, crunchy, juicy, and sweet—indeed it's like a little tango for your mouth!

You might even think of it as the champagne of apples (unless that term is already taken by a different apple). Though they're pricey, they really are worth it—to this apple lover, they're even better than Cosmic Crisps, which are more expensive.

I was even inspired to make a little basket of SweeTangos for Grandma, since apples are indeed her favorite fruit.

an apple dan the apple man review

It's probably not "technically" the exact look of the basket they use to harvest SweeTangos, but I'm proud of how it turned out and I think going to be the perfect thing to take Grandma's whole story to the next sinister level.

an apple dan the apple man review

Right now, I don't even have Grandma in her own room, she's just in The Bed, totally separate from the interconnected structures I have built so far. I didn't really think it through as to where she would "live," but it just occurred to me that I can EASILY incorporate her room into one of the existing spaces in the larger compound. There are so many options since the whole thing is almost like a frickin' village at this point. It takes up pretty much the whole basement!

an apple dan the apple man review

What I'm thinking is I can install Grandma's room in the modded Joe base I'm almost finished putting together. You know, give Grandma a little more protection to calm her fears down, because she is going to be facing down a LOT of hell in the coming weeks. Potentially I can even put her in a second-level room with a little staircase—or actually better yet, a functioning stair-lift, so she can easily get up and down from the base whenever she needs to.


Texture: A+

MouthFeel: A+

Flavor: A+

Availability: B-

Seeds: A-

Cost: C+

Don't hesitate to buy yourself a bag of SweeTangos when you see 'em. I know I will! And if there's only one bag left and it's between me and you … well, let's just say you don't want to end up like Grandma.

shiny dr. teeth tooth

Loud Bassoon rating scale

Review by Apple Dan "The Apple Man"