Ben & Jerry's Chubby Hubby

Just what you need, fattie: vanilla malt ice cream swimming in fudge ripples and peanut butter, with fudge-covered, peanut-butter-filled pretzels peppered throughout.

Naturally, it's amazingly good, although at 84 grams of fat per pint (1400 calories – that's more than you need in a day, fattie fanny), it's hard to make excuses for this one.

Sure, you can try the old, "Um, well, it's also got 24 grams of protein." Well, so does a pint of my brother's semen, and that requires much less exercise to work off (though it often entails quite a bit of "exercise" to get him off).

Huh? Oh, yeah, the ice cream. I must say, this is a truly evil concoction, quite tasty but extraordinarily bad for you in pretty much every possible way.

Glorious gluttony, to be sure, but not recommended to consume very often. Now I better end the review before I make another incestuous semen joke.

Review by Teensy Weensy