Ben & Jerry's Netflix & Chilll'd™

You might have many of the same reactions to eating an entire pint of Netflix & Chilll'd as you would watching any given subpar Netflix series:

"Why am I doing this?"

• "Do other people actually like this?"

• "Why did they make this?"

• "This isn't good at all!!"

• "Didn't these guys used to only make good stuff?"

• "Why am I continuing with this?!"

• "Why am I starting to hate ME more than THIS?!"

• "Life is a fuckin' sham."

I guess it makes sense that the guys who pretty much trademarked binge eating should partner with the guys who probably literally trademarked "binge-watching." However, I get the sense that Ben & Jerry's had some deep reservations about going so very corporate, because this flavor actually tastes cynical.

A forgettable and actually somewhat irritating blend of peanut butter ice cream, fudge brownies, and "sweet and salty pretzel swirls," Netflix & Chilll'd is like a Zoom call where those three ingredients just phone it in separately from home. The ice cream is lame, the brownies are strangely almost more licorice-like, and the best part of the whole thing, the pretzel swirls, are in painfully short supply.

If they were actually trying to replicate the experience of watching some shit like "13 Reasons Why"—a long, pleasureless slog that keeps dashing your hopes for redemption and ultimately leaves you feeling ashamed, angry, and questioning why the hell you just did that—they succeeded.

Like most of Netflix's programming, it's just not ultimately worth it; it's the caloric equivalent of mindlessly allowing "Next Episode" autoplay to systematically numb out your inherent joy.

Algorithm-driven thinking has no place in the ice cream kitchen. Netflix & Chilll'd is a rare out-and-out failure from Ben & Jerry's, concocted by the rank denizens of a bullshit Santa Monica boardroom instead of stoned milkmaids on an idyllic Vermont farm.

Review by Wimpempy Tarlisle