Joan Jett and the Blackhearts
Fit to Be Tied – Great Hits by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts (Blackheart/Mercury 536 440)

For years I've been telling everyone who would listen that whenever a Joan Jett greatest hits album got released, it would be a frickin' great album.

Now that it's here I must face the chagrin of basing such a strong opinion on vaguely remembered radio favorites from the 80s and a general approval of Joan Jett that has little to do with her music. This CD, while not nearly hideous excrement, nevertheless fails to make a strong case for Joan Jett as a great performer. Prototypical "riot grrrl" maybe, feminist figure definitely, but good musician, no.

Any CD that features an isolated quote by Dave Marsh on the back of the booklet cover is already in trouble before you put it on. "Joan Jett is the female Chuck Berry." Is that supposed to be a compliment? If I said that, it would have to be considered a biting insult.

But in some ways it is a fitting remark: her music is just as primitive and stupidly meaningful to her fans as Chuck Berry's miserable retread-rock ever was. Hopefully Joan Jett won't follow in Chuck's footsteps and start videotaping people going to the bathroom in restaurants.

A lot of my free-floating support of Joan Jett was based on the memory of listening to many of her songs on top 40 radio in the early 80s and thinking they were kick-ass. What I neglected to realize was that at the time I also thought MAD Magazine was hilarious and that Rich Hall was a genius.

The first thing that stands out listening to these songs now is that Joan Jett is an astoundingly bad singer. You can blame a lot on "punk ethic," but flat notes are not in that category. She can be excruciatingly difficult to have to listen to at times, because the production values belie the "punk ethic" she exudes.

Singing aside, a lot of the songs are just insipid, but not in an enjoyable way like Kiss. When someone almost succeeds in making dumb rock, it's worse than if they flat-out fail.

The CD opens with "Bad Reputation," which is a great song but features some pretty bad vocal choices on Joan's part. The "tough girl" vocal attitude works on some songs, but not on others. "Light of Day" is a better song than you remember, especially divorced from the image of Michael J. Fox lip-syncing it.

"Do You Wanna Touch Me?" has held up pretty well, it remains a favorite. "Roadrunner," a cover of the Jonathan Richman warhorse, fails just because it's a bad song. "I Love Rock'n'Roll" will need several years before it can be heard again.

"Victim of Circumstance" suffers from having the Blackhearts singing in the chorus. It's always a bad idea to have male background singers chime in to support a female lead singer. Perhaps that's a double standard, but men (especially men who would be in the Blackhearts) tend to sound stupid when singing lines like "I'm just a victim of circumstance."

"Everyday People," a cover of the Sly & the Family Stone hit, is a lot better than it has right to be. Joan succeeds by being committed to what she sings. This is followed by "I Hate Myself For Loving You," a standout track that is every bit as catchy as "I Love Rock'n'Roll" but about 1/1000 as overplayed.

Joan's cover of "Crimson and Clover" still sounds fresh; even if it makes a better argument for the band being a great bar band instead of a great band, it's still a kick-ass song.

Unfortunately, "Fake Friends" doesn't fare as well. This is one in particular that I remembered being a great goddamn song, but I am more than a little embarrassed by that idea now. Points, though, for having the line "All the sycophants/they love to make romance."

"Make Believe" is a fairly forgettable girl-group style song, "Cherry Bomb" is a fairly forgettable punk style song. "Little Liar" is another standout, the only real ballad on the album and performed passionately (it's a live version). "World of Denial" is a previously unreleased song that features better singing but fewer hooks than the classic Joan Jett songs. The CD closes with a cover of "Love is All Around" (the "Mary Tyler Moore" theme), similar to the Husker Du version, but done better here.

I get the feeling that Joan Jett has never really been seen in the best possible light. I mean, 8's bands didn't know they were cheesy until the 90s illuminated that fact, so they spent a decade doing some cool things in a really cheesy way. Joan Jett emerging now would be leagues better than what her actual legacy is for real.

It's a shame; she does have the best "yow!" this side of Eric Carmen. Unfortunately, for me at least she remains more of a person I respect than someone whose music I'd like to sit down and listen to.

Loud Bassoon rating scale

Review by Jessica Stripps