Little Girls
Thank Heaven! (PVC Records 5904)

This album amuses me so much that when I, by some fluke, found a second copy of it months after buying it initially, I bought it again, because I figured it couldn't hurt to have a spare.

Hardly the world's best music, but a lot more knowing than I gave it credit for on first sight. It's almost a precursor to the Donnas. Little Girls were sisters Caron and Michelle Maso, two LA rock teens backed by a quartet of seriously ugly early 80s rock guys (I will single out guitarist Steve Sicular in particular for being the most laugh-out-loud hideous). On the cover, these apparently underage girls are sitting seductively in their own stage gear cases, clad identically in black t-shirts, purple tights, bright red pumps, and makeup that could have used a drag queen's sense of restraint.

This 6-song mini-album came out in 1983, a few years behind the curve for the type of girl group throwback pop that it's doing, but it's solidly played and full of attitude. Caron and Michelle harmonize almost all the way through, and when one of them sings alone, the weaknesses start showing, as in the limping "No Time to Say Goodbye."

But a couple of the songs are great, especially "How to Pick Up Girls," an insanely catchy novelty rock song which I still can't figure out as to whether I like it for real or because it's so stupid. The band is all testosterone, and the girls are clearly aiming for a bratty Runaways feel.

"Earthquake Song" is a nice bit of LA loony pseudo-punk in emulation of the Ramones, and "Left Without a Kiss" contains the wonderful line: "I met you one night at a rockabilly bar/I had to drive you home because you had no car." "Bandana" is purely grating, though it is the only song with a real edge … but it's that sort of edge you find on some of the weaker Pat Benatar album tracks.

Apparently Dr. Demento gave the Girls some airplay, 'cause he's thanked on the sleeve. Target audience for Thank Heaven!: pedophiles who like 'em spunky. Hey, don't blame me, I'm just the reviewer.

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Review by Leopoldo Mahoney