The Loud Bassoon

Beastmaster (syndicated)
1999-2002

I don't know why, but I was looking forward to the TV version of Beastmaster. After much nonsense trying to find out when and what station it was on, I rejoiced that I would finally have my Beastmaster fix.

Well, let me amend that sentence … no one should ever need a Beastmaster fix. The original movie is completely unwatchable despite the presence of John Amos, and the sequel has little to offer, even though it does feature LBOZ interviewee Kari Wuhrer.

I didn't endeavor to watch the third one. Why they decided to make a television show based on the films is beyond me. They didn't even bother to get Marc Singer in the lead role, though they undoubtedly could have for pennies on the dollar.

In case you're not familiar with the Beastmaster saga, you have this skinny guy Dar, and he has two ferrets named Podo and Kodo. He controls animals to battle the evil forces of whoever, and all the evil guys are really ugly and dressed in inefficient combat attire.

The show follows the same story line, maybe adding a character or two; I can't remember the movies well enough to remember the characters.

In any case, the show is just as boring as the movie. Not very fun to watch. Maybe good enough to have on in the background while you type up the erotic stories you had scribbled on napkins.

But one wonders: why are they making this show when they could be making a whole new season of ROAR?

1 lil' puppies2 lil' puppies3 lil' puppies

Loud Bassoon rating scale

Review by Illusion Master © 1999


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