 It's a Miracle (PAX) I was mildly surprised, as with Twice in a Lifetime, to find myself entertained and engaged through most of the show. The first segment – which abides by the old rule "If you want an audience, hook 'em with a puppy," – is about a cute widdle puppy found in a trash bag in an abandoned fridge. He's saved, taken in by the SPCA, and eventually trained as a customs dog. And the kicker: the dog, Popsicle (cuz he was found in a fridge!), finds over 3,000 pounds of cocaine, busting a major drug ring! Cosmic revenge, according to the show, on the dealers who abused him. Of course, they don't mention that the human customs officers had one really big party later, and got Popsicle SUPER-jacked on the sweet nose candy – it was freaking hysterical, you shoulda been there. But that part ain't for PAX. The best moment came when Popsicle's handler nearly cried talking about how special the dog is and how much he wants to take care of him when he's retired … I'm sorry, there was no way I could stop that emoto-lump from rising in my throat like a mime regurgitating an egg. The second segment was about a gangbanger who was sent to a juvenile camp, where this older mentor helped steer him on the right path to a job in printing. Jesus Christ, man, you might as well have handed him a death sentence … do you know how many limbs are lost in printing accidents each year? The New York Times is practically written with the blood of its printing staff. Needless to say, the gangbanger story was not as effective as the puppy story … but then, how many minorities can really hold up against a cute widdle puppy? A nice touch was having the now-upstanding kid appear live with his wife and baby. Sweet. The third segment was about a little girl who prayed and prayed, then was accidentally run over by her father in a station wagon and survived without so much as a scratch. (I dunno, on a karmic scale, if she was really a good child, she would NEVER have run out in the driveway like that … I hope she's learned her lesson.) Basically this was one big advertisement for angels, as if they needed any more exposure these days, what with all those angels in the outfield and what have you. I was really waiting for the mother to lift the car in a fit of adrenaline. Now THAT would be a miracle. And the final segment had a young father go into heart failure. His friend determines to find a donor, and when luck strikes (another friend's strapping grandson goes all brain dead), well the rest, as they say, is a miracle. I forgot to mention previously that It's a Miracle offers reenactments of selected moments in each story, and this one was by far the funniest … pasty-faced shirtless guy pretending to be tired from playing basketball … or lying in bed staring at the ceiling contemplating eternity, absentmindedly chewing on … something. Hey, other people's near-tragedies are our comic relief here. It's a totally riveting hour of intense, terrific television! Well, not quite. As much as I appreciate shows like this, and understand their value and how they publicize positive things (as opposed to the FAR more entertaining FOX reality shows, which only publicize horrific, entertaining carnage), I must say, if they can get me to watch one more episode, it'll be a … you guessed it.
Review by Crimedog © 1999 |