 Performing As … (FOX) Performing As … hijacks the concept – regular people performing in the style of their favorite singers – and dumbs it down completely, aiming for hipness, but loses the human element that was central to Your Big Break's success. By "success," I mean "quality of badness that produces surefire derisive laughter." The new show presents five contestents, but devotes almost no time to profiling them as people, instead choosing to show quick-cut montages of them working with a vocal coach, choreographer, and makeup artist. So instead of sitting through painfully awkward biographical segments, the viewer must simply watch clueless dream-chasers become showbiz robots. As with American Idol, each contestent inevitably attributes their participation to "This has always been my dream" … yes, the inscrutable pursuit of fame based on some vaguely perceived notion of "deserving" it leads these fucks to dress up like famous people and deliver bad karaoke for an audience that doesn't care. The show is hosted by as wooden a variation of Ryan Seacrest as they possibly could have drummed up … I think he may even be the guy from those cellular phone commercials where people misunderstand each other. His bland presence and stilted delivery are characteristic of all aspects of the show. The episode I saw featured a too-black Tina Turner (who would have been better served doing "Thunderdome" … does anyone really want to hear fucking "Proud Mary" at this point?), a too-short Freddie Mercury, a too-nondescript Tim McGraw, a less attractive Celine Dion (if that is possible), and a Christina Aguilera who will undoubtedly be stripping to the same song she performed here six months from now. It sucks. Can't blame Fox for trying to milk the cash cow, but the glitzy doll-up of what was already an extremely square idea somehow ends up being more square. And without Christopher "Kid" Reid as an anchor, where are we? In life, I mean, not just with this show. Review by John Happy © 2003 |
