The Loud Bassoon

The Alex Jones Radio Show syndicated
reviewed 9 August 2004

Listening to Alex Jones, who sounds suspiciously like Rush Limbaugh, you'd think we already live in a Marxist/Stalinist/Maoist/Hitlerist police state, controlled by madmen bent on turning us all into slaves for the UN. Though even if you tune in from the start of a single show, you'll have to wade through most of it to get up to speed. It plays like an ongoing conversation about things most of us just don't pay attention to or think about. Guests come on and talk about those things, callers make their comments, and through it all Alex Jones blusters and filibusters.

I'm not gonna say he's all wrong or even half wrong – who's to say he's not all right? My gripe is that all he does is stir up fear and suspicion. Even the ads are paranoid, selling gold as "portable wealth in these uncertain times," water filtration systems, anti-chemical attack kits, wind-up radios, etc, not to mention bales of Jones's own videos, audiotapes, books, clothes, and bumper stickers. Who again did you say was profiting from 9/11?

From top to bottom, the show is all problem, no solution. So if there's nothing we can do about any of it, why bother listening to Jones, who will only make you angrier and scaredier?

Jones's daily three-hour tour is so thick with references you need an annotated Norton Paperback Edition to make any sense of it. Yeah, a lot of what he says is valuable, much of it might even be true, but it's all connected so perfectly and completely, and presented with such urgency, it's hard not to dismiss it as pure cranksterism. Jones has concocted the radio equivalent of John Nash's schizophrenic diagrams from A Beautiful Mind, with fractal beauty and regions of clarity, but ultimately just impossible. Though I strongly believe in the power of a few greedy people to do some horrible things, I don't believe a lot of greedy people wouldn't just end up in a large-scale, public turf war.

But more importantly, the show suffers most of all because it's just plain boring, not to mention exhausting, relentless and largely insufferable. Jones, his guests and callers all "know the truth," and you can hear the knowing smirk as they survey the rest of us sheep. But conspiracy mania is just another religion, like any other, with its preachers, its hardcore devotees and those like myself who find the whole thing interesting but not terribly inspiring.

And if Jones is right, there ain't a thousand radio shows that can do a damn thing about it. So what are you gonna do, climb down some stanky old rabbit hole with no way out? Or live life, bask in the sun, and love the police state to death?

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Review by Crimedog


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