 Batman: Dark Tomorrow for Nintendo GameCube
Speedwagon, it is one thing to sit through a bad movie, but to play a bad game takes an entirely greater degree of commitment.
And I gave it a chance, sir. I didn’t read any reviews before playing. I searched several Blockbusters several times only to find it checked out, so I figured the game couldn’t have been that bad. But awful controls combined with equally awful camera angles to produce a laughably awful game.
It plays very much like Dragon’s Lair (that’s a bad thing). You move in one direction, you die. You choose a different direction, and it’s correct. But then you go the wrong way again, and you die. Try to grapple across rooftops, you die. I can’t remember the last time trial-and-error was a viable option for gameplay design, but the think tank over at Kemco has gotten it down to a science. Not to mention that at maximum brightness, this game is still darker than Yaphet Kotto.
Blockbuster of course withholds the instruction booklet, so I had to fumble through the controls by instinct. Trying to maneuver through the gritty Gotham streets was maddening. Maybe I just got an unfinished bootleg that happened to end up in a major video chain?
I didn’t even get to the first boss encounter, either. My quest ended in a dead-end, shooting the bat cable, throwing batarangs, desperately trying to escape but with no clear way out.
Finally, I figured it out – all I had to do was press the power button.
I have learned by playing this that I am a 100% game elitist. I only buy and play the best games, so much that drivel like this is totally off my radar screen.
If I were a Batman fan, I would be enraged that this game was ever released. Someone in the DC licensing department should be fired for pissing away an A+ franchise like this. This game was treated like the cat thrown to the island of monkeys at the Kansas zoo – it was literally fucked to death.
Review by Illusion Master |
