NHL 2000 for Sony Playstation
Developed by Electronic Arts

This is the first time in years my feelings are mixed towards an EA Sports NHL game … previous ones have either made me crap my pants in delight or piss them in frustration (well, come on, I need a convenient scapegoat for my incontinence, which doctors tell me is basically just laziness).

Some improvements are clearly noticeable. The Create-A-Player has more depth to it this time around (though it doesn't allow #99, in honor of Wayne-O). Skin tone, different skill meters, and other aspects make it harder to make perfect players. Conversely, roster management is easier; you can immediately add your created player to rosters without fumbling through four menus.

Gameplay is noticeably different. It's faster, with fewer flaws in the programming. Checks break glass now, and you can actually hockey-stop easily. The slap shots have a power meter, so you can decide what you're gonna throw at the goalie. Players have different celebrations after goals. The announcers have a database for first names, so if your name is Matt, Dave, Brian, or other common names, it says your name like a regular player. If your name is Mick or Dewey, chances are they don't know it.

My biggest gripe: fighting. I'm all for fighting in hockey. NHL 99 had you pose off, taunt, drop the gloves, and choose from uppercut, jab, and attempt to pull the jersey over the player's head.

Not anymore. Fighting in this game is worthless. This is fighting: Start. Read these words. The fight's over. Seriously. It's turned into mash buttons as fast as possible.

The programmers made up for this by replacing the "special move" button with a new objective: BIG HIT. This button is too much fun. Basically, use the speed button to get near the player, hit the Big Hit button, and SMACK, your player leaves his feet to crush the opponent with a huge body check. I played the French National team, and injured eight players.

I know. I'm violent. But it's just a game! I don't mind the French hockey team per se. I'm sure they're trying to be good. But they're easy targets.

All in all, the game's not bad. It's pretty much the same game as last year's, with a few differences. The fighting thing upsets me, but what's really missing is the more subjective sense of "WOW" that you get when a game really ups the ante. Maybe the developers didn't feel the need to mess with the formula, but my short attention span won't suffer that kind of laziness. I know, I know, it's not as lazy as intentionally crapping one's pants, but I'm not on trial here.

Loud Bassoon rating scale

Review by Mo' Rice