Payback (1999)
Written and Directed by Brian Helgeland

A series of brutal beatings and deaths strung together with a series of clichés so old they're fossilized, Payback barely squeaks by as "entertainment," thanks primarily to Mel Gibson's semi-comic portrayal of a thief who will stop at nothing to retrieve a measly $70,000.

Not sure what anyone was thinking when they made this one, and it certainly wasn't worth all the drama of director Helgeland quitting over "artistic differences" when Gibson took control of the final cut.

Gibson is probably the best thing about the film, and he thankfully avoids the silliness of that bloody BM Conspiracy Theory. Actually, the script for Conspiracy Theory was a lot better than the finished product, which leads me to believe that maybe Helgeland's version of Payback was also better. Several scenes seem painfully tacked on, such as the comforting fate of a dog that's clearly had his head blown off, while the entire role of Kris Kristofferson was added. The scenes of Kristofferson's son, a terrible actor named Trevor St. John who looks nothing like Kristofferson, are completely awful.

Basically Gibson, as Porter, stumbles around NY meeting up with all sorts of thugs, played variously by David Paymer, Bill Duke, Gregg Henry, James Coburn, and William Devane (who not surprisingly gives one of the better performances). He harms them all in various graphic and inventive fashions, and always seems about fifteen steps ahead of a giant international crime organization known as The Syndicate.

I swear, if real villains were as smart and fast and brutal as movie villains, we'd all be in danger of getting blown up or run down in the sidewalk while standing next to those watermelon trucks you see everywhere these days, somewhere in an alley in Chinatown with no escape other than a bunch of strategically placed windows and sliding ladders, right after being threatened by a crooked cop who's in league with a balding Jewish bookie who wears garish plaid sportcoats.

It's no mistake that I call Gibson a villain in this film, because right from the start he does a series of mean things to let us know that "we're not supposed to like him" (as opposed to Tom Hanks, who always does things to let us know that "we're supposed to like him"). Yet somehow, as the ad says, we're also supposed to root for him.

Frankly, I didn't care either way. Gibson has his moments, and he plays pain and suffering as well as the great Harrison Ford. After one particularly brutal beating, Gibson looks so uncomfortable I started laughing. Fully desensitized to violence at last!

All the females in the film are severely beaten at one point or another, which isn't to suggest that the film is "sexist" since everyone in the film gets severely beaten or killed, or both. As Porter's wife, Deborah Unger is forgettable, while Maria Bello does little to further her post-"ER" film career (although as a moderately attractive young female, she's probably not destined to the obscurity of a David Caruso, who is now so obscure I actually had to search the IMDB for his name—poor guy, even Tim Kazurinski gets a slot in my memory bank).

But Lucy Liu from "Ally McBeal" deserves a kick in the pelvic bone for her lame, one-note dominatrix. She wasn't funny on the show, and she ain't funny in Payback. She does, however, wear the best outfits in the film.

So what's it all add up to? A whole lot of nuthin'. If the spirit of Gene Siskel were to enter my body right now, he'd take control of my thumb and point it in a downwards direction.

Review by Crimedog