The Scorpion King (2002)
Directed by Chuck Russell
Written by Stephen Sommers, William Osborne, & David Hayter

A series of inane action scenes punctuated by lame wisecracks, bad acting, a score that rips off John Williams and Metallica, and a few discreet PG-13 flashes of Kelly Hu's flesh do not a movie make.

Or maybe the problem lies with me, and I am just completely out of touch with America. Which means that my sociology thesis project, "Medieval Attire and Language Will Make a Comeback in Early 2004," which I've been working on now for twenty-six years, is totally off the mark.

Review by Crimedog