Team America: World Police (2004)
Directed by Trey Parker
Written by Trey Parker, Matt Stone, & Pam Brady

Team America is a brilliant work of scathing political satire … if you're one of those dumb fucks who thinks "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart" is incisive and incendiary.

Not me. This film actually made me wish I were reading Alexander Pope instead, and that is a rare occurrence. Heavy-handed and half-assed, this movie is basically Fahrenheit 9/11 by way of "Thunderbirds" … not that such a thing was called for on any level. It's about as sophisticated and appealing as George Lucas's neck-waddle.

I don't care what you think of the supposed "fascist takeover" of America (which, if it happened at all, happened with JFK, not George W. Bush) … it's just not necessary for the unskilled to comment on world affairs. Now, Trey Parker and Matt Stone have previously not failed to provide at least a chuckle in their work … but I found myself unexpectedly stone-faced beholding their ham-fisted and uneducated political view in this film. They skewer (in pseudo-revolutionary "SNL" fashion) the Bush II regime, and attempt to provide the twist that Hollywood liberals are just as pathetic, duplicitous, stupid, and misguided as the conservative entities they oppose. Which is true enough … problem is, Team America is equally pathetic, stupid, and misguided. Sending up Sean Penn? Shootin' fish in a barrel there, fellas.

Not helping matters is the fact that Trey Parker noticeably did most of the voices, all of which are variations on Cartman, which is fine, except when you're trying to credibly evoke, like, Alec Baldwin. Was the budget too tight to get Alec Baldwin himself? Certainly it couldn't have been too tight to get, like, Daniel Baldwin!?

To its credit, TA has an exceedingly funny puppet-sex scene that is out of this world … as Gwen Stefani would say, "B-A-N-A-N-A-S." Otherwise, though, this is about as insightful as my 3rd-grade fake-newspaper, submitted for some kind of social studies assignment, that made fun of Jimmy Carter's teeth.

Review by Swellest J. Nurseryman