 Super Smokers BBQ
It's high time that the meat-eating members of The Loud Bassoon staff begin to establish a presence here in the Fine Dining section. Seems like only the vegetarians have sounded their call … perhaps they have more energy from all that voodoo shit they eat. But I'm here to change all that. Now, don't see this as a movement against the brother-and-sisterhood of veg lovers, it is merely an attempt to give our carnivorous readers a voice to listen to, some guidance in our increasingly health-conscious world. "Eat some meat for freedom!" Or something else lame and faux patriotic like that. Let it be known that I am very possibly as far removed from veganism as is humanly possible. If it had a face, there's a good chance that I'll eat it, as long as it isn't hiding amongst some toxic leafy stuff. I do sometimes indulge in the green, usually confining myself to broccoli and the occasional green bean. Does weed count? But on the whole, give me meat, cheese, meat, cheese, and what the hell, while we're at it, gimme some more meat.
The name of the restaurant chosen to lead off my "revolution" is Super Smokers. That in itself would likely be enough to revolt any diehard veg-o-phile, and with good reason. It is a modern shrine to a consummately American delicacy: BBQ. barbecue. Basically, if what you're looking for didn't squeal, moo, or cluck at one time or another, stay away. But, if dead animals are your idea of good eatin', then bring your appetite and your wet-nap, because you're in for a treat.
Super Smokers started out as a small outfit in Eureka, Missouri, just up the road from Six Flags St. Louis. It was "discovered" at some point by mid-level St. Louis celebrities, most of them in radio. As the word spread, I realized I'd have to make a pilgrimage at some point, and ventured with some old Merchant Marine buddies to the Eureka location, which is housed in a renovated barn.
A tradition developed at some time or another of customers signing the walls with magic markers, giving capsule reviews of the food, the surrounding area, the weather, sports, and who they were making out with that particular night. The tradition fizzled as the walls filled, I guess, because we were offered no such opportunity. We were, however, offered an excellent selection of meat-filled dishes, from baby back ribs, to pulled pork sandwiches, beef brisket, pork tenderloin, pork chops, and the like. That first night, we all opted for a slab of ribs, and were not disappointed. The ribs were hot, meaty, and tender, and the wide selection of sauces was exploited fully. Each of us left feeling roly-poly and very satisfied. We sampled take-out from the original Super Smokers several times after that, and each time the quality was just as high. A truly great day came recently, however, when a Super Smokers restaurant opened in O'Fallon, Illinois, mere minutes from my home. A much larger and newer affair than the home restaurant in Eureka, this monstrous two-story place moved into a somewhat cursed building, which had housed numerous failures, such as Wolfgang's Brewery, J.D. Nick's, and Hardhats Dance Cafe, which was not what it sounded like.
The O'Fallon Super Smokers lacks the ambiance of its sister store, due mostly to its size, but the quality of the food is still quite high. One neat touch is that the selection of six sauces available is set on every table in a carrier from a six-pack of bottles of assorted beers, and it definitely gets points for the Ms. Pac-Man machine in the entryway. However, it loses points since it isn't the type of machine where Ms. Pac-Man flies around the maze like an ADD-teen on a triple espresso binge. It also features a large upstairs area, which is infested with televisions, and definitely caters to the sports bar crowd. One of the less appealing touches is the widespread use of a drawing of a cute pig, running on two legs, looking decidedly human. Why they felt the need for this I don't know, but if it was an attempt to lodge feelings of guilt into my subconscious, it failed. It merely succeeds in annoying me every time I see it, which is often, since the damn thing is everywhere. On various trips here, I've sampled the beef brisket and pulled pork and have been consistently satisfied. Service has been from adequate to slow, depending on the time and day I've been there, but generally effective and subtle, which I like. On my next trip, I think I will sample the pork tenderloin, as I have been tempted to do many times before. I'm sure it will be delicious.
Super Smokers has never disappointed me greatly one any of my visits to either location, and I generally have left the restaurant anywhere from full to near-bursting. The service, as stated before, has never been spectacular, but the job is always done with a minimum of attitude, and as well as can be expected from a bunch of college kids who would rather be hitting off the 20-foot beer bong back at the house. One of the only negative sides to the place (albeit non-negative to me) is the utter lack of veg selections. You are pretty much limited to beans and rice or beans and rice, and maybe a microscopic salad. Free refills abound, the beer selection is wide, and the prices are very reasonable for the large amount of food you get – count on stuffing yourself for around eight to twelve dollars, and look for me when you're there. Eventually I want to be a Jabba-like fixture of the place, perpetually in a dark corner, hoising pulled pork to my lips and laughing unintelligibly at the seminude runaways chained to my chair.
Review by Mario Speedwagon, August 1998 |
