 Vong's Thai Kitchen
You could have Martin Scorcese direct a Police Academy movie and it would still be a Police Academy movie. Similarly, you can build an upscale restaurant around Thai food, but it's still Thai food. I love Thai food, almost as much and as frequently as I love the women who serve it to me. In both cases, however, I expect it to be cheap and kind of scummy. Thai food should be available in every neighborhood at prices in the $5 range, so whenever you get the craving, it's yours for the taking. Vong's Thai Kitchen aspires to take the succulent tastiness of Thai food and make it into an elegant dining experience, offering low lighting, plush seating, evocative music, and overpriced trendoid martinis. What they have forgotten in their enthusiasm is: it's Thai food. I accompanied my gourmand friend Dr. Martin Absinthe here, for his recommendations frequently result in exquisite adventures, such as the time he somehow convinced me to meet him in São Paolo for "dinner and drinks, and/or savory, ambrosial Brasilian pootie tang." Those were excellent drinks. VTK, as they somewhat desperately want to be known, was unfortunately one of Dr. Absinthe's rare miscalculations. Apparently he had been there in its previous incarnation as Vong's Kitchen, assumedly a more genuinely gourmet endeavor. The retooled place offers fine food at inflated prices, with nary a Brasilian supermodel to be found. We had something called "Rocket Rolls," a bunch of floofy cocktails, and your garden-variety noodle dishes. The only thing that I could genuinely call outstanding, besides the piss I took at the end of the meal, was the chocolate cake for dessert. I insisted upon the créme bruléé, but the Doctor quietly vetoed me in favor of the cake. He wasn't wrong on that one; it was fucking scrumptious. Eighty dollars later, I left and, buzzed on the floofy but strong cocktails, bought an expensive shirt and a couple of Lionel Richie CDs.
Review by Abel Packaday, May 2003 |