5. "Ride the Lightning" (XL)
Including another t-shirt with album cover art barely does justice to the wide spectrum of artistic variety in the genre of Metallica t-shirts, but it's hard to deny the classic, haunting electrocution imagery of the "Ride the Lightning" shirt. What better way to tell the fuckers that you'll just take whatever they dish out, as it were, "riding" the proverbial "lightning?"

4. "Sad But True" (L)
The stunning depiction of not one but two skulls on the classic "Sad But True" shirt revitalized the Metallica line at the crucial juncture where it may have lapsed into self-parody. Many attribute its success to the fact that it could be given to one's girlfriend/boyfriend to illustrate how two skullheads can bang together.

3. "Burning Flower" (XL)
This underrated classic from the Metallica "Binge and Purge line" features a burning skull with a flower in its clenched teeth on the front, and a burning heart on the back. Anyone who's ever loved, headbanged, and lost, will know exactly where this is coming from!

2. "Master of Puppets" (XXL)
The album most connoisseurs acknowledge to be the band's best also produced one of its most impressive t-shirts. A faithful reproduction of the classic album art, the "Master of Puppets" shirt has been a headbanger wardrobe staple since the mid-80s, as essential to the lifestyle as beer and broken homes.

1. "Metal Up Your Ass" (XL)
The classic "Metal Up Your Ass" shirt remains Metallica's boldest societal statement, still guaranteed to provoke, even more than a decade later. The image of the metal blade emerging from the toilet bowl is uncomfortable no matter how many times you've seen it, and is funny whether you think it is serious or misguided. I'm not sure which, myself.