Bee Baby® Whole Thorax Canned Bees

Bee Baby has been around since before my mama was a baby, yet I only recently tried it for the first time. I didn't intend to buy it, but a can must have fallen off the monumental endcap display at the grocery store when I bumped into it. Seeing that Bee Baby label always turned me off in much the same way that the Chicken of the Sea label does, but since I'm not one to waste food, I figured I'd at least give it a try.

I thought a good time to use it was when I was preparing barbecued lamb with Thai peppers. Since the bee stingers were sure to puncture the gums, I figured it would allow the Thai pepper oils to penetrate my bloodstream and heighten the culinary experience.

At least I was right on that count. On about my third bite, my eyes started bleeding and I became unable to breathe. Thankfully my phone was with me at the table, so I dialed 911 and wheezed into the receiver. They didn't understand a word I said, but an ambulance showed up nonetheless as I lay unconscious in a puddle of bile on the dining room floor. Turns out I'm allergic to bees.

I got home the next morning, and as I mentioned earlier, not wanting to waste food, I simply removed the stingers from the lamb and reheated the dish. Three bites later, I noticed blood dripping down onto my fork, and I again became unable to breathe. I dialed 911 again and woke up in the hospital. Turns out I'm also allergic to Thai peppers.

Not wanting to take the chance I might be allergic to lamb, I fed the rest of it to my dog, who has since been leaving blood-streaked trails of shit all over the carpet. I want to find out what he's allergic to, but the vet is closed today.

Review by Deep Dickens