Virginia Slims Luxury Lights 120s

I can't say it's often that a cigarette makes me laugh, but the absurdly long Luxury Lights did just that – twice: upon opening the pack, and again upon taking the first drag.

It's almost like placing a pole-vault pole in your mouth … you nearly need a friend to stand several feet away to help light it, and you start thinking about setting the thing on a tripod until you can suck it down to a manageable length.

And then there's the social stigma, wherein your chums will be compelled to insinuate that you stole the cigarettes from your grandma's purse. Virginia Slims are not just unmanly smokes, they're bona fide old lady cigarettes. The Surgeon General's Warning on the pack may as well include language to the effect that consumption under the age of 80 is simply foolish.

They're pretty smooth, and certainly luxurious, but it takes pretty much all night to smoke one. So you're just better off not even getting involved with 'em, unless you have some kind of all-weekend shamanistic vision quest to do that requires a moderate nicotine buzz.

Review by Ulysses Wiegand