Keebler For Fuck's Sake! Fudge Stripes

I'll be the first to admit that I am increasingly not the target for most mass-produced junk food. I tapped out around the time that "Flamin' Hot" started to take hold, so whenever I see the latest "XXXXXXXXTRA FLAMIN' HOT"-type iterations, I am usually just nonplussed. Go have fun, kids, while you're young! For this world is yours.

But when I saw these new Keebler Fudge Stripes at Harris Teeter, I was genuinely shocked. A bridge too far!

Apparently, the harmless fun of products like Captain Crunch Oops! All Berries and Keebler Whoopsy! Fully Fudged isn't "extreme" enough for some people, because here they come with the Keebler For Fuck's Sake! line.

I guess the idea here is that everything that could go wrong at the Keebler factory did, because these cookies contain things like actual rat heads, sliced-off tips of supposed employees' fingers, insects, and something that looks like icing but is labeled in the ingredients as "disgruntled elf spit." Barfola! 🤢

If the flavors were simulated, I might see the appeal, the way kids love those intentionally too-sour Extreme Sour Patch Kids, or Brussels Sprouts Pringles for Thanksgiving. But rat parts?!? I simply draw the line. YMMV of course.

Review by La Fée