Orville Redenbacher's® Cinnabon® Cinnamon Butter Popcorn

Hankering for some popcorn but can't get the thoughts of melty cinnamon buns out of your head? Well now your fat ass doesn't need to make that decision anymore! Just pop this heavily buttered cinnamon mush in the microwave, pour in the packet of frosting, and make sure you've paid your health insurance premiums. It's a true tribute to American corpulence that this product was ever conceived, and you'll gain one chin with every handful you eat.

What the fuck has happened to popcorn? Since when did it become a destination food? Thank goodness they only package it two bags per box (to accommodate the frosting packets).

Eating an entire bag by itself is a mistake; make sure you have several people to share it with. It tastes like butter, yes; it tastes like cinnamon, yes; it tastes like frosting, yes; but after a few scoops it starts to taste just wretched, and finishing it off is a real chore. The smell is going to linger in your kitchen until you take out the garbage.

If you want popcorn, just buy some fucking popcorn. This concoction is the result of an R&D division gone absolutely out of control.

Review by Deep Dickens