A hazelnut spread with skim milk and cocoa, Nutella is in a class all by itself. It's smoother than peanut butter, and more chocolatey than Dikembe Mutombo dripping melted shit into my big black mouth!

Nutella goes perfectly with just about anything; pretzels, fruit, and especially rusk! In fact, it's the only thing that makes rusk palatable. I bet you don't even know what rusk is.

Contrary to popular belief, it is not actually a product of Germany, but Italy, though the hundreds of Nutella swastikas on the Berlin Wall can attest that the fatherland is where it is truly embraced.

The only place you'll find a spread more delicious than Nutella is in my erotic fan fiction about Tyrese!

Review by Deep Dickens