My baby's gotta have it, and truth be told, I'm not always "up" for the job, you know what I mean? So when I got a spam email advertising herbal viagra, I jumped at the opportunity.

Suddenly, I was able to keep "up" with my sweetie's every dirty desire. It was terrific, just like being 15 again (I'm almost 19 now).

I should have known there would be a downside. After making the mistake several mornings in a row of taking herbal viagra to get "up" in the morning, if you know what I mean, I now had to deal with the embarrassment of having a persistent erection for like ten hours after leaving the house.

That's where Boneez comes in. Boneez takes the edge off the effects of herbal viagra, softening erectile function by up to 70% and lasting up to two hours. It comes in convenient chewing-gum form, so whenever I start feeling "up," I just chew a Boneez and soon I'm, as Paul Simon once sang, "feelin' flaccid." Oh wait, that was "feelin' groovy." Well, anyway, you get the point.

Boneez has restored balance to my sex life, allowing me the comfort of near-total impotence basically on demand. Now I can be super-hard or super-soft depending on my mood. So when I end up sleeping on the couch because I'm "in the doghouse," I can dispense with my boner without having to jerk off.

Thank you, Boneez. It's about time a product came along that allows you to take charge without having to take matters into your own hands.

Review by Chinese Pete