Central-Vite

This is the generic knockoff of Centrum, which on my bottle is branded for Rite Aid. Recently I noticed that my roommate has the exact same vitamins, but they're branded Makers Mark. Well, something suspicious is going on. As always, I suspect the Mafia, and failing that theory, the government.

In terms of what it offers, Central-Vite is almost exactly comparable to Centrum. My issue with it is purely psychological. Since multivitamins are mainly placebos – that is, they do give you all the vitamins they claim, but what you really get is the peace of mind of knowing you're full up on vites – or should I call them 'mins? – either way I am just trying to be annoying – but to return to my point, since they have a placebo effect, it is a necessary pitfall of the generic version that they just seem less effective because they are cheaper.

As in the old days, when Doyle-O's Royal-O Alligator Oil-O outsold home-bottled alligator oil by a margin of almost 450% in most rural markets, the store brand multivitamin suffers not from any inherent flaw in quality, but from a vague perception that more expensive is "better."

That said, I am enjoying them anyway. They are growing on me. I do like that they sort of contribute to my half-assed "no logo" lifestyle, but in all honesty I only buy them because I can't afford Centrum and hypochondriacally "feel worse" when I don't take a multivitamin.

Review by Abel Packaday