Naked® Superfoods Green Machine

I'm not a big fruits-and-vegetables guy, but I really liked the Fantasia line of drinks. Health hipsters might see it as cheating, similar to buying a Velvet Underground best-of instead of all the original albums. On vinyl.

So be it. I'll take the sugary "health shake" over an awkward conglomeration of twigs, berries, multivitamins, and isolated soy proteins anyday. I'm sure it's more healthy for me than my usual routine of Cherry Coke, fries, a Ho-Ho, and a fried Ho-Ho … for breakfast.

Anyway, I was seriously disappointed to find that my local snack shop no longer had the Fantasia green drink, it having been replaced with the Naked Food-Juice Superfood corporate buy-out version. Bonus points for the UK-esque naming and marketing feel to the product, and anything that features "10 Green Superfoods" on its cover and isn't a Fat Wreck Chords CD sampler is okay in my book.

Tastewise, though, I wasn't impressed. It smelled a bit funky and tasted sour compared to the Fantasia drinks, and in fact I ended up chugging it about two-thirds the way down before I lost heart and threw it in the garbage can.

The container DOES say "shake and chug," so maybe the manufacturer faced a "Choose one: taste or health" scenario.

R.I.P., Fantasia. I'm back to getting my health back the old fashioned way: by watching more healthy television.

Loud Bassoon rating scale

Review by John Byner III