From Justin to Kelly (2003)
As were the 20 other people in attendance at my screening on opening night—the hoots and howls, of course, being mainly derisive, but hey you can't argue something is truly bad if it provokes such visceral response.
Cross the Britney Spears Crossroads with, like, La Traviata, and set it at the MTV beach house (do they still have that thing? I'm old). Cast two celebrities created in a test tube and forced to be bound to each other like conjoined twins. Voila. Welcome to the parallel universe of From Justin to Kelly, where all human logic is suspended in a Cirque du Soleil-caliber spectacle of jaw-dropping badness that is soooooo damn good.
And did I mention it's a musical!?!
Kelly Clarkson and Justin Guarini, of "American Idol," do their best to give the illusion of chemistry as two Spring Breakers who feel an instant connection when they meet briefly in a song-and-dance number on a crowded beach. Justin's the former "party boy" who has matured and is looking for "real love," and Kelly is the "sweet and real" girl who captures his heart.
Most of the plot points hinge around cellphone text messaging; the support cast is comprised of caricatures; and the emotional core of the film is carried by a socially inept "nerd" who spends the entire course of the film narrowly missing meeting up with the "hottie" he met on the internet.
People break into song out of nowhere, the best one being the conniving "party girl" character who has a very gay "Material Girl"-esque sequence where she sings about "men."
Not to mention the hovercraft duel between Kelly's would-be suitor from back home and Justin.
It's pure brilliance. What else could be expected from the director of She's All That and the writer of Spice World? A better artistic match has not been made since Willie Nelson and Julio Iglesias. (And will not be again until Clay Aiken and Ruben Studdard team up for a Laurel & Hardy-style slapstick comedy.)
At last, a film that gives The Apple a run for its money as the best bad movie of all time. I couldn't be happier. I'm going to see From Justin to Kelly as many times as possible before its theatrical run ends a week from now.
Review by La Fée