 Carm's Pizza
Carm's Pizza is the worst-designed restaurant I have ever been to. Their all-you-can-eat lunch buffet is nothing more than a tray of cavoli (is that a type of pasta? I may have made the name up inadvertently), a big bowl of salad, and a couple of pizzas sitting on a table in a claustrophobic hallway. The dining room is barely bigger than my cubicle at the Loud Bassoon main office. It felt more like the set for Jack's Bistro than a bona fide restaurant. The pizza is good, though certainly not in the upper tier.
The menu is painstakingly written on a markerboard, which is the most impressive feature of the place. Every line is written perfectly straight. "Mozzarella" was spelled wrong, but if you can write on a markerboard that straight, then I'll allow you a misspelling here and there. Prices are decent, especially the lunch buffet, which is $5 or so.
I think it was Carm himself who brought out the pizza. He seemed like a nice enough guy, but he must be feeling really depressed if he can't pull his establishment out of such a state of disrepair. I couldn't tell if his Italian accent was real or factitious, and it didn't make a difference anyway. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was not in a real restaurant, but a faade thrown up hastily to cover something up. Maybe I was in some kind of cliched sitcom setup? The atmosphere was much too somber for that to be the case, though.
And they didn't even have Cherry Coke, but they had Coke 3-D? Why is it so hard to find Cherry Coke on tap? I don't even like Cherry Coke, but if I have to have a Coke product, Cherry is the one I'm going for.
My suggestion to Carm is to move to a place where people appreciate a shit hole like this.
Review by Illusion Master, April 2003 |