 Charley's Grilled Subs
This place was recommended to me by fellow staffer and diehard Great Steak & Potato Co. enthusiast El Argol after I mentioned I was looking for something beyond the Great Steak experience. Something a bit "phresher," so to speak. In terms of novelty, Charley's Grilled Subs is to Great Steak what Buca di Beppo is to Olive Garden … a slightly updated variation on a perhaps now-overfamiliar mass favorite. If "newer" equals "better" in your vernacular, then by all means, you may enjoy Charley's. Not me, though. I found this place about as palatable as the short-lived Forrest Gump spinoff restaurant Lieutenant Dan's No-Legs Bistro, which specialized in various meat and game dishes that went out of their way to showcase each plate's lack of legs (such as "Lieutenant Dan's 'Sorry, No Frog Legs Here!' Frog Arm Fritters" and "Lieutenant Dan's 'Sorry, No Drumsticks Here!' Blazin' Buffalo Turkey Wings"). I'm no fan of the Bubba Gump Shrimp Co., but to their credit, at least they're not as confrontational. Trying to ignore the out-of-control calories mandatorily listed on the menu, I ordered the deluxe Philly cheesesteak combo, with cheddar-and-bacon fries and a Pepsi. At $9.59, straight away the meal was more expensive than it was worth even before I tasted it. The food itself was all various shades of brown, and as exceedingly bland to taste as it was to look at. Honestly, I took maybe four bites before deciding this was a meal just not even worth eating.
It's not that I require authenticity in dining; that is, I can enjoy a Le Royale with Cheese as much as the next paid enforcer. But to me, Charley's Grilled Subs is the company it deserves with its kin in the 21st-century mall … these patently ersatz places like Wetzel's Pretzels, Lady Lasagna, and Chevy's Fresh Mex, whose actual food bears literally no relation to what they purport to offer. I sadly resign myself to the fact that quantity has finally won out over quality in America; why have something amazing when you can just have more of whatever?
Review by Stephen B. Urkel, May 2009 |