Godiva Chocolate Raspberry Truffle

After consuming something like 104 pints of Ben & Jerry's in half as many hours (all in the name of "reviewing" of course), I've come to the sudden realization that subtlety is really something the ice cream world could use more of.

Don't get me wrong, I love Ben & Jerry's to death (sadly, to my own early death, from arterial sclerosis brought on by complications from what doctors could only term "fudge clots" in my bloodstream) – but after trying Godiva's offerings I realize I need more sophistication in my ice cream consumption, and Godiva has got the goods.

That said, I won't bother going into how "sophisticated" ice cream consumption can ever be, considering there are few genuinely sophisticated things in life that add 65 grams of fat to your already over-bulbous ass.

Godiva's Chocolate Raspberry Truffle is truly decadent in a way that those "Chocolate Decadence" type ice creams can never be … instead of packing in pretzels, fudge swirls, cookies, cake, candy, and whatever else the more mainstream brands are throwing in to appeal to America's fat-tastic sense of pure overindulgence, Godiva simply presents a single idea, brilliantly executed. No need to fish around for Oreos or Combos or whatever; this is just pure, delicious, rich chocolate ice cream tastefully blended with raspberry swirls.

It is fucking great. Eating Ben & Jerry's is like living in a townhouse; eating Godiva is like living in a mansion. Now if only I had the mansion's dedicated butler to charge with the task of siphoning all this sick fat out of my bloated body. Well, at least I now know what I'd do if I won the lottery.

Review by Lina Felix