 Various Artists I remember a time in the early 90s when it was damn near impossible to find a good compilation of 80's music. I spent large amounts of time searching for any kind of collection of the music, but what was on the market was lamentable. At one point, I even paid $36.99 (!) for a strange German imported two disc collection called Beat Of The 80s, even though of the 25 or so songs on it, I only knew about ten or twelve. Then, suddenly, it seemed that you couldn't jerk off anymore without finding an 80s compilation. The Rock Of The 80s series from Priority Records began coming, a series which is now up to around Volume 356, and will soon have released every song ever from the 80s. Copycat series start to crop up, all of them covering the same territory over and over, with the same songs on many of the discs. "She Blinded Me With Science" is a perhaps the best yet most tired example, appearing on almost every one of the discs, and, not surprisingly, on the CD I'm about to begin reviewing here. Living In Oblivion kicks off well, demonstrating the "one-hit wonder" syndrome that was predominant in the business at the time. Kajagoogoo "Too Shy" (their one hit), Naked Eyes "Always Something There To Remind Me" (the first of their two hits), Talk Talk "Talk Talk" (one of what, two minor American hits?), Kim Wilde "Kids In America" (her one American hit, until "You Keep Me Hangin' On" in 1986), The Vapors "Turning Japanese" (name one other Vapors song, I dare you), Re-Flex "The Politics Of Dancing" (you don't get much more one-hit wonder than that), and Paul Hardcastle's "19." After that, the album makes a bizarre and sudden left turn into obscurity, at least for American fans. It becomes clear at this point that this album must have originally come out in Britain, as we begin getting hit with absolutely obscure songs and bands quite outside of my nostalgia filter. "Homicide" by 999, is typical early 80s London punk, but apparently they got some notoriety over there. The next song, "Romanticide" by Combo Audio? Blank stare. New wave sappiness at its most typical. Then, back into Brit punk with The Stranglers doing "Get A Grip On Yourself" … yawn. "2-4-6-8 Motorway" by the Tom Robinson Band is at least catchy, but still not all that great. Bow Wow Wow's "C30, C60, C90, Go," admittedly a classic to many, to me just plain sucks, with Annabelle Lwin trying to sound like Debbie Harry on "Rapture" and failing in the most miserable way. Then suddenly, we're back to a song and a band you know, "Sexy + 17" by The Stray Cats. I always fucking hated this song when it was popular, and I'm not a lot better off with it now. But then, it's a song you don't know by a band that you do know, Spandau Ballet doing "Chant No. 1 (I Don't Need This Pressure On)" and, simply put, I don't need this song. Finally the album rounds out with one of the ultimate one-hit wonder bands, Total Coelo doing "I Eat Cannibals" and another only-in-Britain song, Hayzi Fantayzee's gonzo "Shiny Shiny." This album would have been a hell of a lot better if they had cut out all the mysterious British-only hits before they released it over here. The number of Americans that remember or know any of those songs probably wouldn't even fill my living room, as opposed to the 19 million stupid idiots that can only laugh like a braying donkey, shoot Alabama Slammer out their nose and talk about parachute pants when they hear "She Blinded Me With Science" at 80s Night at their local bar. I'm just glad that when I get to the pearly gates, I can confidently answer "no" when St. Peter asks me if I ever had a pair of those stupid pants. You mean you didn't know you automatically sent straight to hell if you had a pair? Well, serves you right, fuckwit.
Review by Mario Speedwagon |