Boylan's Root Beer

The Pet Shop Boys once said that it was cheaper and brasher electronic musical gear that makes better electro. And apart from the godlike Sprechers, the same seems to apply for root beers.

Boylan's always looks so damn sexy and urbane sitting on a deli countertop, and the ingredients are rather more esoteric than required by your typical carbonated beverage (yucca plant?).

But once the sharp aftertaste has hung around the party for way too long, I'm looking to drink ANOTHER root beer to wash away the stain.

Maybe the sign of a quality root beer is just this sort of high-floating resonance, and perhaps I need to read Root Beer Connoisseur for the articles instead of the pictures, but ultimately my mouth and throat know what they likes. Keep it simple.

Boylan's ain't a bad root beer, mind you, and its fonts are excellent, but seeing as I typed this entire review with my tongue, it gets the final say. If God wanted us to appreciate root beer primarily for aesthetics, He'd have built a straw-hole into our medulla oblingata.

Review by Bolds O. Blanton