Bring It On: All Or Nothing (2006)
Directed by Steve Rash
Written by Alyson Fouse

Sometimes, Hollywood calls my bluff. Immediately after watching Bring It On in the theater, I semi-jokingly declared I wanted to see a franchise of films based on it. Several years and two sequels later, I'm prepared to say "I give." The first one was enough; no further Bring It On's are needed.

All Or Nothing is mostly a remake, and somewhat an inversion, of the original 2000 film starring Kirsten Dunst (who, like the franchise, also seems to have peaked around then). Hayden Panettiere (now known as Claire the cheerleader on "Heroes") plays "Britney," a cheerleader who moves to a mostly-black school and is forced to assert herself in spite of the various "Black attitudes" she encounters. Isn't that just like life?

Now, having a lead character named Britney in a movie like this is kinda funny … having another named Rihanna is even more so. Having Rihanna (the singer) herself actually show up in the movie … even more so! And yet, less so. When a film has three Gwen Stefani tracks from the same album on the soundtrack, it's clear they're mainly going for audience recognition, not artistic achievement.

Still, you can't really fault a movie too much when it begins with a girl-fart joke, or uses the term "Amber Alert" to mean "FYI" to a character named Amber. BIO:AON is mostly innocuous, breezy, and enjoyable, but about as enduring or significant as any random issue of Jane … that is, promptly forgotten. Still, with elements of Clueless, Save The Last Dance For Me, and Legally Blonde, this couldn't really miss.

Some things I appreciated:

• As with American Pie: Band Camp, the soundtrack actually has a 00s cover of a 90s cover of an 80s song … how through the looking glass is that, exactly?

• Solange Knowles Smith (of Beyonce's mom's vagina fame) fills the Gabrielle Union part, making Gabrielle Union seem like an Audrey Hepburn-esque legend by comparison

• Good line: "We get ass up the ass!"

• Another good line: "Dude, I'll beat the dude out of you!"

• The white girl teaches the black girl how to "Crump"

It's good to see a movie pitting whites against whites for once, as the white chick has to go up against her old squad, backed up by her newfound Black teammates. The moral seems to be: Left to their own designs, Blacks are vulgar, but with the guidance of even one cute white chick, they CAN succeed. Or maybe it's: Whites, and Asians, if they are Rich, have body image issues, but by hanging out with Blacks, they can learn to love themselves.

The message is so mixed it can no longer even be considered a message. What do sociologists make of movies these days, anyway?

Review by Bridgett Bowling