Taxi (2004)
Directed by Tim Story
Written by Robert Ben Garant, Thomas Lennon, & Jim Kouf

A movie this wholly lousy I haven't seen in a long time. I never saw the late-90s Luc Besson film of which it is a remake, but I can't imagine it's anywhere near as bad as Taxi. Jimmy Fallon plays a bumbling New York cop who, for some reason, teams up with a psychotic cab driver (Queen Latifah) to foil a ring of supermodel bank-robbers. (?) The taxi in question, for some reason, has all sorts of James Bond-style gadgetry built in.

There were probably many attempted jokes in Taxi, but I could only stare in frustrated amazement as unfunny turned to REALLY unfunny and then on to the level of unfunny I thought had been discontinued around the time of Nobody's Perfekt. It's not often anymore that the addition of Leslie Nielsen might have actually HELPED.

On the plus side, Taxi should wipe the insecure smirk off Jimmy Fallon's face once and for all and send him into the paralysis of crippling self-doubt he richly deserves. As for Latifah … perhaps she'll have a "Christmas Carol"-style visitation from her 1988 self and get back on the right track, if in fact it's not already 15 years too late for that.

this shit blows

Loud Bassoon rating scale

Review by The Jamaican Jerk-Off